Everyone has to do presenting from time to time. It can be in a formal setting, it could be an interview, or it could simply be in a meeting – and if it’s in a meeting it might not actually be a presentation – it could be you just want to make a point.
In any form of public speaking situations asking yourself these 3 questions beforehand could get you everything you want!
What do I want out of this?
Setting our own bar is vital before any presentation. When you establish the point you want to make, and what you want the outcome to be for you, then you can control the content of the presentation and be confident with it.
2. What do I want them to remember?
This is about making sure your audience walks away with one clear message. And it ensures that when you are presenting you can make sure your theme shines through,
3. Who am I speaking to?
Years ago I heard Alec Baldwin say on his podcast “Here’s The Thing…” that when he interviewed people he always thought about who they were, and what they would be expecting?
In his case, he was thinking that if he was interviewing a huge record label boss versus a politician, versus a comedian, he might ask his questions in a certain way, or think of experiences he could relate to with them.
You can make some simple assumptions about the person you are going to attempt to connect with. For example, if you know the audience will all be lawyers you can make some assumptions about what is important to them that day. Or if you are going for a meeting with a CEO you can assume they are busy and not waste your time getting to your point.
These three questions never fail to help my clients through sticky situations, the content they are unsure about sharing or meetings they are nervous about. So if you are in a similar situation – these 3 questions will not let you down.
There are, of course, many elements that have to come together in order for people to do what you want. One of those elements lies in the language you choose to instruct them.
When my kids were little, I went on an “Incredible Years” parenting course, not just because there was a free creche and I got a break – honest! Mainly because my neighbour had done the course and her son was so well behaved! He did everything she asked him to do.
I HAD to know her secret.
So I went on the course. And here is what I learned:
Ask people to do what you want them to do.
Speak in the positive
Why? Because your unconscious mind hears positive instruction.
When you see a child carrying a glass of water, and they are tottering towards a table, and it looks like they are going to spill it, what do you hear their parents say?
“Don’t spill the water!!”
Your brain doesn’t hear the “Don’t” – especially when you are a kid. And more often than not you can guarantee that that child will actively spill the water. That’s what they think they’ve been told to do.
Asking people what you want them to do (rather than what you don’t want them to do) has real results. When we learned this Mr C and I got really creative with the kids:
“Keep your feet on the floor!” when they thought climbing on things was OK and it wasn’t.
“Put your hands on your tummy” when we wanted them not to touch anything in the shops.
It worked more than “Don’t touch that” ever did. And the added bonus is that if you ask people to do what you want them to do – it’s easier to reward them for doing it. Creating a great cycle of positive reward!
2. Be clear with what you want
That’s it. If you want someone to do something for you then you have to ask them explicitly what it is you want them to do. One thought per instruction. The minute you ask for more than one thing, or you start to clutter the request, people won’t hear it.
For a lot of people, the word “networking” is an evil word. That feeling of meeting people and selling yourself sounds hideous. Haunted by negative self-talk like “they aren’t going to want to hear about me”, or “it’s all so fake”, or “I’m just not smart enough”, many run for the door as soon as networking is mentioned.
The reality is, that nowadays, there is no job in the world, that doesn’t require you to sell your business. Building relationships is vital to any career, or business because people work with people they know, like and trust.
Networking doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable experience and the whole concept of building relationships is shrouded with myths.
Let’s bust through a few:
Myth 1: Networking is only done at events and meetings
When you say “networking” to someone the immediate picture is standing in a group of people at an event awkwardly trying to work out when to introduce yourself.
Yes, networking events are important, but you can “network” in your own way, space and time as well. You can arrange to meet people for coffee. You can meet people through Linkedin. And in fact you are networking all the time. The people that you work with right now, will possibly be your boss one day, or they’ll go to a great new job and may recommend you.
One thing that helps is understanding what type of communicator you are as you can then play to your strengths. Take this iMA Strategies quiz to discover how you can be better at networking: http://katecocker-ima.com
Myth 2: Networking only counts if you are meeting new people
When I started both my Presenter Coach Business and Kate Cocker Studio (where I sold my artwork and paintings) I realised that actually where the connections start, are with the people you know. Friends would be the first to buy my paintings, and I still get Presenter Coach work through people I play netball with.
Start with who you know, make a list. Then see who they know. And make sure your friends and family, know what it is you actually do so that they can employ you or recommend you.
Myth 3: Networking means talking about myself or the business constantly, and I am not good at that
This is the greatest pressure people put on themselves when they think about networking. But you can take the pressure off right now as here is the secret to being a good networker:
All you have to do is listen.
Think about the people you know that you consider to be good listeners. Do you dislike them? No. Do you respect them? Yes. Do you trust them? Yes.
Listening is key to building relationships and business development. Finding out what are the challenges for their business, gives you the opportunity to help them. You can’t help without listening, being interested and asking questions about the things they are talking about.
Take the light off you, and make sure you shine the light on them.
Sometimes we can build up myths that protect us. Our assumptions protect us from taking risks, feeling uncomfortable and bursting out the comfort zone. Sometimes we don’t have to jump in 2 footed and terrify ourselves, sometimes we can stretch our comfort zone and slowly build confidence that we know what we are doing.
So network to your strengths, start with who you already know, and listen so that you can work out how what you do can help the person you are talking to.
There is one more element to networking that will help you get that new gig, or client. I will reveal all in my next blog.
To stand on stage and perform feels vulnerable, so when you are on a line up with other speakers, that’s when the comparison voice kicks in.
I’m sat watching the guy who is speaking before me. He is really funny. Like really funny. I’m not that funny. And he has no notes – how is he doing all this without notes?
Then the next lady steps on the stage and she is covering really similar stuff to me, so obviously my brain starts up: “they are going to find out that you aren’t as clever as you make out”. And again “oh she is putting this message together much better than you do”…
And then your brain hits you with this doozy: “Are you sure you’re good enough?”
Brene Brown says that “Comparison is the killer of creativity and joy”.
And as I sat there trying to stop myself from going into a flat spin, I started to deploy the methods I use that remind me of the only thing that can stop you from killing your creativity and joy…
Remember that You are You.
I get all my clients to establish who they are before doing anything else. Understanding what you bring to the table, where your strengths lie, and what you are trying to achieve, eradicates comparison. All that matters is that you are attempting to be the best you can be, in line with your own values. Grasp this, and then suddenly you won’t be worrying about what others do.
Presenter Chris Evans said on his first Virgin Radio show in January “If anyone is any good then there is room for everyone”. He was replying to those who were curious about any competition between him and his old Radio 2 show. He’s right.
I also used to get really worried that I wasn’t as good as other people doing what I do. That was until I started to realise that there wasn’t one or two people that I was in competition with… there are thousands of people doing it, all over the world. All I can do is do the best I can to help the people I want to help.
Of course, competition is useful, It spurs us on and helps us to be better, and competition is fuelled by comparison. So, be clear on who you are, what you want people to remember, and focus on that. You can wave goodbye to comparisonitis.
